Things I Know (part one)

I know that I…

1) don’t like bleu, goat, or swiss cheese, to me they taste like armpit, sweaty hair, and feet respectively.

i taste like i smell! don't lick me!!

2) don’t like cilantro, it tastes like soap, this is because I carry the recessive gene for this herby flavor. Recessive genes are also responsible for my blond hair, blue eyes and five fingered hands. Add in the fact that only 2% of the world has narcolepsy and you find that I am one rare bird.

Soak it up! you know i'm special!!

3) hold Continental Airlines responsible for our near death excursion into Newark, New Jersey, the 24 hour layover that resulted in us missing John’s grandmother’s 90th birthday high-tea party, and my new found obsession with knock-off purses sold from the trunks of stranger’s cars. I guess I need to explain this one…. It was a cold and rainy night….. stay tuned for part 2.

the only time I dared to stop long enough to take a photo, I like all the boarded up windows and the fire escape that doesn't seem to go anywhere.

Build me a Tower

Howdy! Howdy!

In August of last? year( 2011)  I turned 26 and according to the government I should be, by all accounts, an adult. I am not. I still call my mom when I have a bad day and sleep with a stuffed manatee that John gave me on my half-birthday( which I celebrate, so plan accordingly!). I am still a kid at heart, still a college student, still have roommates, therefore should still be on my mom’s health insurance plan, right? Wrong!!!! Got a letter in the mail from our lovely provider that basically said after December 31st I could go f*ck off and die.

Here’s the problem, I have asthma and severe narcolepsy which will bring my prescriptions to a ‘have to live in my car’ cost of around $500 a month! Even with my medication I am barely able to function as a productive member of society. Today I took a 3 hour nap only to wake up, bike at the gym, eat Burger King and come home to sit on my couch… and I’m planning on going to bed around 10:30pm!

Panicked I called John,

“Oh my god are they really gonna let me die!!”

being a sensitive british man he tried to encourage me with,

“Well, this woman in my lab told me today about how her husband got cancer and they had to raise $10,000 before the insurance would pay for the rest of the procedure and they got the money but then he died.”

“What!?”

” So without your medicine are you gonna fall asleep forever like Sleeping Beauty?”

“WhAt!?”

“I guess I’ll have to build you a tower.”

Thanks sweetie.